feliz navidad de charleston, carolina del sur. ya'll. it's been a wonderful few days with my family. seeing my parents and my niece and nephew and my sister and brother in law. i miss my brother attending christmas each year, hopefully someday the married unit will join us for a change. it's still beautiful to be around these loving people. makes me feel so good, recharged. i get to see them again in early january to celebrate little christmas upstate at my aunt's house. it started a couple of years ago with a death in the family which delayed christmas in the area around where my grandparents lived and their farm still resides (though we don't own the actual farmhouse anymore, i wish i had bought it when i had the chance). so now my aunt has a little gathering which is basically every family member i have on the east coast. i love it. will be sure to visit my grandparents' gravesite which i always do when i'm in the area. today, i've been up since 530am as i thought i heard reindeer outside on the roof - but it was probably me just hallucinating from the bottle of wine i drank before bed (nursed over several hours, of course) which knocked me the hell out. the exchanging of gifts thing ended ages ago between the adults of the family (we all decided we have enough shit), so now we just watch the kids go nuts on their stuff every christmas morning. it's enjoyable to no end. but, my parents did break the rules and give me one of the best gifts ever. i was totally surprised as i expected and wanted nothing but to be with them. when they were married 40 years ago my father's best man gave my parents two valuable (well, now they are valuable) limited edition, signed prints by the famous artist ray harm. he basically invented the market for limited edition art prints. pretty cool. i have admired these prints since i can remember. they've been hanging in the guest room at my parent's home in virginia since they moved there over a decade ago. they knew i always loved them (as i have a huge affection for birds as well) and so this was a pretty stellar gift. my father said he'd rather give them to me now than "will them to me". makes sense to me. i just have to find a place a hang them as my walls are littered in beautiful art. i'm very lucky to have such a great family and so many loving friends. feeling incredibly blessed right now. i am leaving town again tomorrow til the new year so i won't be back for a minute. so in the meantime- i hope you're happy, safe, and feeling loved, too.
music: vincent guaraldi (peanuts/royal tenenbaums) "christmas time is here"
.: words: angular 12/25/2007 09:22:00 AM
left, and leaving. again.
hola. it's been over a week since i've engaged my computer in this manner. i got back from lost angeles on friday and just did my new york thing all week long. it was nice to be home and really just stick around and not do or try to do too much. i did manage to get my visa started for india, research how many airmiles i need to transfer from my american express account to get an upper class ticket on virgin atlantic (i am going via london now, and yes, i wanna sleep the whole damn time). so it's been somewhat productive. i am currently sitting in the worst airport on the east coast, laguardia. it's ancient and doesn't work well and has too much airtraffic to support the new york metro area. they need to build one super ass airport somewhere and just be done with it. my plane is, of course, delayed due to airtraffic and hasn't even left north carolina to make it to nyc and pick us up to swing back down south. this is also the time where if i had more time or rather, more patience, i could clean up by sitting here and giving up my seat to oversold flights and just get tons of free tickets. i have done that a few times in the past and it's been totally worth it. but today, i just want to get to my family and pass out on my sister's couch. tis the season to be lazy. for sure. my leg is killing me as last saturday night i was leaving a cocktail party in dumbo with a small crew in tow. i was getting into my car and slipped on black ice slamming my knee into the bumper of the van in front of me. needless to say i thought i was going to die and it took a few painkillers and a couple sips of whiskey and a lot of ice to sort me out. i still feel really crippled so intend to stay off it (read: sit on my ass) as much as possible over the next few days. originally, i was supposed to be leaving for london and prague today from an entirely different airport. now here i am alone at laguardia of all places and going somewhere entirely different. in every manner of that statement. it's interesting how life and all our best laid plans can change so quickly. fleeting, indeed. anyways, i am happy and it's christmas time -- so that is very rare. this is usually a time of great instrospection, slight wintery depression, and the desire to run away. luckily, i have a lot of high adventure in my immediate future so my bug to "get the fuck outta here" is going to be satisfied beyond description. i hope whatever you do for this holiday season it's with someone or some people you love dearly. yeahhh.
music: bad brains "leaving babylon"
.: words: angular 12/21/2007 03:42:00 PM
tuesday. it's sunny and slightly warm and makes it easier to get up in the morning, but LA offers nothing to me that i don't have in NYC (other than the weather) and already want to return to. i'm anxious this week, as i can almost taste the freedom of the year being over and the blessings of a new beginning. i'm almost there, so all i can do in the meantime is keep going and stay calm and focused and try to work with my neurotic tendency to over analyze everything and everyone around me. i can only work in the moment and with the now, as the future is elusive. so i'm doing my absolute best to just be here now.
Rama Bolo, Rama Bolo, Bolo, Bolo, Ram
Rama Bolo, Rama Bolo, Bolo, Bolo, Ram
Sita Bolo, Sita Bolo, Bolo, Bolo, Ram
Sita Bolo, Sita Bolo, Bolo, Bolo, Ram
Hanuman Bolo, Hanuman Bolo, Bolo, Bolo Ram
Hanuman Bolo, Hanuman Bolo, Bolo, Bolo Ram
"Oh my friends, sing the Name of God! When it gets too damn hard, just sing.
Have no fear, don't give up. Sing! When it gets too good, sing. When it falls
apart, sing. When it comes together, sing. Cry and sing. Sing and cry. Living
sing. Dying sing. Listening sing. Singing sing."
-Krishna Das
Music: Krishna Das "Bolo Ram"
.: words: angular 12/11/2007 01:17:00 PM
lift up the receiver, i'll make you a believer.
brrr... diciembre. it's finally cold. wintery cold. i'm enjoying it. imagining myself slightly stoic, with beard, holding a giant hot tea con soy leche, standing in red hook, facing the statue of liberty with the water dancing around her ankles, looking wild and wonderful. i might as well go to fairway as well while i'm there and buy organic bananas. yeah. sometimes, i realize i do some pretty stupid stuff. like waiting until early december to remove the air conditioning unit from the windowsill. the draft this oversight produces does feel really nice, as i think this apartment requires a cool stream. the radiators are crazy and loud and uncontrolled in this building (like me) -- it's been warm, to say the least. went to DC this weekend. officially for work though i did manage to have a nice time as well. i've always imagined what it would be like to live in that city. maybe like inside a giant diorama or snowglobe with all it's mini-monuments, but with crooked politics and murder and other urban blights thrown in for good measure. it's pretty though. i wanted to go find dischord house for old times sake but i couldn't remember the way - the streets are totally confusing anyways. it was designed by a frenchman and definitely retains it's european flair and appeal, though there is something distinctly american about it. of course. walking from the lincoln memorial to the washington monument it almost feels like paris alongside the reflection pools. also, the lattes in the state park cafe aint all that bad. shrugs. today was kind of surreal. i managed to have some major communication breakdowns as well as some major communication breakthroughs. i have no idea what weird balance that is, but we shall see how it all plays out. that's all i can do as i can't fix everyone and everything as much as i wish i could heal the world. on healing- i'm gonna start with myself first, as i'm useless without a sound body to work with. i got my annual physical this morning which was 6 months overdue. i was referred to a new doctor, this one is quite good from what i can tell so far- i liked him which is a start. i absolutely hate having blood taken. i get so much anxiety at the thought. i understand, it's essential for life. a precious gift i wish i could share with other people (donating my own, etc) but i can barely make it through a few vials of my own stuff being drawn from me. i can get tattooed but can't help but almost blackout when i get bloodwork done. i have issues with this, clearly, as i was left sweating on a table with the light out and sipping a triple x vitamin water to get my sugar back to normal and stabilize a bit. god, i'm a pussy. anyways, we'll see if i'm gonna live or not later this week. going to austin on friday which will be nice, especially as it's colddd here. spend a couple of days in texas and then on to ciudad de los angeles. i swear, december should go like lickety split. i've found a few new amazing quiet spots in this city that are good to sit in and scribble in a book for half an hour. yeah i'm that guy sometimes. to be left alone with pen and paper, oh rapture. xxx
music: depeche mode "personal jesus" vs. fugazi "waiting room"
